Sherlock: Text me the details, I'll be in touch by the end of the day
Palace Official: You really think you'll have news by then?
Sherlock: No, I think I'll have the photographs.
Palace Official: One could only hope that you're as good as you seem to think.
Sherlock: I'll need some equipment of course.
Mycroft: Anything you require. I'll have it sent over -
Sherlock: Can I have a box of matches?
Palace Official: I'm sorry?
Sherlock: Or your cigarette lighter? Either will do.
Palace Official: I don't smoke.
Sherlock: No, I know you don't but your employer does.
Palace Official: We have a kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock: I'm not the Commonwealth.
John: And that's as modest as she gets. Pleasure to meet you.
Sherlock: Latersssssss.
[Before meeting Irene Adler]
John: Are we here?
Sherlock: We're two streets away. But this'll do.
John: For what?
Sherlock: Punch me in the face.
John: Punch you?
Sherlock: Yes, punch me in the face. Didn't you hear me?
John: I always hear punch me in the face when you're speaking but its usually subtext.
Sherlock: Oh for God's sakes!
Sherlock: If I wanted to look at naked women I'd borrow John's laptop.
John: You do borrow my laptop.
Sherlock: I confiscate it.
John: We should call the police.
Sherlock: Yes.
[fires four shots into the air]
Sherlock: On their way.
John: For God's sake!
Sherlock: Oh, shut up. It's quick.
Sherlock: [reluctantly impressed] Oh, you're rather good.
Irene Adler: [returning the compliment] You're not so bad.
[intense eye gazing ensues]
John: Hamish.
[startled looks from Irene and Sherlock]
John: John Hamish Watson. Just if you are looking for baby names.
Sherlock: Dominatrix...
Mycroft: Don't be alarmed. It's to do with sex.
Sherlock: Sex doesn't alarm me.
Mycroft: How would you know?
Honestly, this show should just release its script as a book. It's so witty it makes me cry tears of joy. Rest assured it would reside well loved on my bookshelf. Ahem, this is a cue for you Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat.
