Tick, Tock.

Alright. I know. This is not the most appropriate time to write. Cause obviously I shouldn't have any time to write. But the thing is, when I'm stressed, sleep-deprived and on the brink of total collapse, there isn't much to live on. Really. And since I've claimed over a thousand times in this journal..within  and beyond the posts, that I love to write, I thought why not? If I'm going to live up to my passions, I may as well just do it when I want to step back and relax.

So you can penalize for not giving you enough attention, dear blog. Or you could also thank me for actually being productive before the midterms come about...so that the time crunch I'm facing right now doesn't feel all that bad since I know - at least I'm pretty confident I think I know - that I'm good to go for the exam. Emphasis on the think. You see, just when confidence scale tips towards over-confidence, that's when the problem hits. So, my goal, for the next half hour is to keep that in balance and hopefully, instead of gearing backwards to my old habits of massively procrastinating and wasting away countless seconds, minutes and hours I'd actually like to convince and perhaps even give you enough faith to have in me.

I was reading my horoscope and although it is by no means a reflection of my character - because obviously I'd like to have more depth than that - it made me feel quite good when they labelled Capricorn women as the women on top. Or when you witness a Capricorn working, they're always aiming for the top and are pretty likely to get there. In my naive highschool days where I naively used to believe that shunning nerdhood was a good thing instead of bad, I would have totally jumped to twitter and leave a horribly scathing message to XSTROLOGY for writing incorrect things about people. But good sense comes to those who wait. Thankfully enough, back then, the only way I could check my horoscope was a get my hands on a copy of metro...and mind you, their horoscopes are kinda crap. So all in all, I've finally managed to embrace nerdhood - or was I always there in the first place? - and all I am feeling right now, is a sense of purpose...a feeling which has been a completely non-existent in the past two years. And this whole thing, took me fifteen minutes. Progress in gearing towards optimizing time & getting somewhere in life? I sure as hell think so. 

Read more »

the reader's rant

I absolutely love Reader's Digest. Always have and always will. It's one of those magazines that've been around for soo long, I can't quite imagine life without it. I remember munching on a bar of Crunch (which also remains to be an unbroken tradition) and reading it outside our family physician's office waaay, waaaaay back in the hey days - which was *gasp* almost 13 years ago! Admittedly I've worn out of the comic section and instead of frantically searching for pictures, I actually sit down - still waiting outside my current physician's office - enjoying and actually reading some of the articles. And of course, it's like the only magazine you can really find in those fancy public toilets. Cause apparently other magazines aren't worthy of bathroom stalls. Not to mention the fact that you can find anything about everything.

The magazine makes me happy in all the right places. Alright, its no Cosmo or Vogue, but RD has an entire column dedicate to sleep. It SPEAKS to me.

8 Secrets to Better Sleep, 5 Ways to Eliminate Fatigue, Eat Well & Sleep Well , How to Get More Sleep, How To Get More Sleep...which I really don't get. I have the opposite issue. They should write an article about how to sleep LESS. Seriously, this whole summer, on average I slept 12 hours a day. And I'm still sleepy. How is that humanly possible?

Anyway, so on a recent visit to the doctor's I came across - yes, yet another copy of Readers Digest  - and read an article stating that reading is the one of the most simulating activity for our brain, only second from the list to sex. Basically, our brain produces the same response whether we fulfill our carnal desires or get "hungry" to read a book. So all this time, whilst going down my path of knowledge, I've also been satisfying my brain's sex drive. Beautiful. (Reader's Digest Canada Issue: May 2010). Reading, of course, to those who can no longer breathe without technology (I'm soon likely to become one of them - the lure of smart phones is too great for me to handle), is a more knowledgeable resource than say, browsing the Internet. I want to agree (because I love reading articles, IET journals, books that have a 1000 pages), but for a girl who Google's - yes, the people of Dictionary.com should really consider adding it as a verb - day in and day out, researching with books and achieving the same speed is a tremendous feat to overcome.

Although, finding detailed information on certain subjects is much more easier to find in books than on the Internet/Google. But that's another topic on its own. I'm just surprised that my brain will react the same if I read a particularly engaging article about super-conducting cables or have a steamy night. The concept is just so bizarre.

Read more »

Where's Waldo?

Symptoms

• bouts of morbid thoughts
• nightmares of unemployment
• continuously vibrating feet - subconsciously
• complete loss of will in make-up, clothes & shoes
• tendency to click on the empty screen on the desktop
• occasionally caught starting blankly at the lower half of the shelf
• is subjected to frequent dozes of insomnia
• cannot maintain a normal sleeping pattern similar to that of a functioning homo sapien
• more often than not, is found forming words that don't exist in the dictionary
• rarely cracks a smile

Diagnosis
Most certified psychologists (mother dearest) would consider this a serious case of frustration and the complete loss of self-confidence and self-esteem. Keen observers would describe this case as a hindrance to society and would most likely add that the condition in question is relatively similar to a severe attack of early midlife crisis. Others, would consider the symptoms and straight away declare a depressive state on a lower scale. Overall, most experienced candidates would call this syndrome nothing more than a situation where the patient in question has an obstacle they're under "belief" they cannot handle. The candidates (my mother) would like to state that: "shit happens".

[The patient would like to add that shit does not happen at such pivotal points of one's life unless a person screws up royally. But of course, that's besides the point. What's forty years of experience in comparison to the twenty measly years that the patient has lived?]

Prescription
The psychologist and the candidates would like to prescribe the patient with a severe dose of reality and state that life is not over. They believe that things will look brighter if only the patient stops swimming in the dark lake of pessimism and for once, try to look for the goddamn light at the end of the tunnel. Life is a challenge, we all make mistakes and the candidates would like to conclude this trivial issue as soon as possible and move on to more serious cases that need to be dealt with.

Patient's Status
Well, that certainly sheds light onto things. I guess finding a legit career is just as hard as finding waldo in "where's waldo?". Man, it used to take me long to find him. I think my half-assed blindness had something to do with it. It wasn't discovered at the time.

Conclusion
*shuffles over to prayer mat and prays for a miracle*

I think referring to oneself as the patient more than once isn't that much of a healthy routine - psychologically speaking.

Read more »